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Irrational versus real fears Expat Nomad Life Coaching

Irrational Versus Real Fears


Irrational Versus Real Fears blog post by RJ Nuis for Expat Nomad Life CoachingIrrational Versus Real Fears.

Fear is a normal part of life as it is the body and mind’s response to uncertain situations and emotions. The presence of fear helps keep us sharp and aware, but it is important to keep feelings of being scared or apprehensive in check so that those emotions do not take over life and ruin chances of being happy.

Fear is often the first response to changes, but change is good. It may seem like changes always equal bad outcomes, but we live in a world where that change is not always valued so it is seen as chaos. It may seem random and disorderly, but within that chaos of change is in fact control and order. Why is it difficult for us as human beings to see the beauty and importance of change? Fear.

For so many people, fear of the unknown- the biggest part of change- is what takes over. This reaction makes us stuck in one place, unwilling or unable to move forward in life. Fear controls us and becomes the ultimate killer of goals and dreams, working from the inside out.

The automatic response to change brings us to a place of defensive, similar to the reaction you would have if being chased by a lion through the jungle. It’s a natural response to protect us from danger, but when that natural response prevents growth in your life and behaviors, that is where fear can become a killer. It takes over in everyday life instead of just being active for survival mode. It hides our true emotions and attitudes and prevents us from truly listening to our intuition.

This defensive stance often triggers irrational fears or concerns that you will come to see as farfetched or outlandish. Living in a society that is constantly making us aware through media about all the dangers in the world brings out these heightened senses to all the ‘bad’ things in the world, so much that we begin apply them to our lives in unreasonable ways. Holding onto these irrational fears brings the focus to the wrong issues, diverting our attention from our inner souls and beliefs.

For example, take a very common fear, the fear of heights. Many people who have this fear worry that they will severely hurt themselves or die if they had to be at an extreme height outside of their comfort zone. They act and live as if heights will bring certain, sudden death, and so they avoid heights at all costs. The person’s critter brain survival response kicks in, taking over the normal thought and reasoning process. Once that person is able to understand that fear and how silly it seems- that the ladder is sturdy for example- then they can trust in the situation and move forward. But some people crave the attention that the fear brings them because it often comes with more care and concern from people around you, essentially associating the fear and experiencing it with attention from others.

The only way to get over a fear is to confront it, learn from it, and reason with yourself. Many times the fears are attached to emotions or past issues you did not even realize you were holding on to or were related to that fear. Maybe reading about this you realize that a fear you hold may be related to something else going on inside of you. If so, working with me as your coach can help get to the root of these concerns and how to move passed these irrational fears. Once you can detach your feelings or issues surrounding a worry or fear, it will help you move on in life and towards your true happiness.

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